Pakistan Security Reveals ISI Toileting Secrets

I used to love the crazy-ass denials the Soviets would come up with and part of me is still stuck in the good 'ol days of the Cold War, but now I'm finally warming up to the 21st Century thanks to the Pakistanis.  The Telegraph (UK) is reporting today that the Pakistanis are denying my report of Pakistani cooperation in the bin Laden raid.  According to the Telegraph:

However, a senior Pakistani security official denied that the ISI had sheltered bin Laden.

"We don't use toilet paper – we wash," he said. "But toilet paper is all this theory is good for."

Toilet paper???!!!

Okay...

Now you'd think they'd been sweating bullets since the deal with the US went south.  I would assumed they had gamed every scenerio and were prepared to throw a major disinformation campaign to the world as soon as news of their cozy little arrangements leaked. 

But toilet paper?

You gotta love these guys.

Now personally, I'm a big fan of TP, especially when dealing in shit like this.

 

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Comments

[Retired]

I can understand why a Courtesan de Marque would resent being called a whore. And that's a good analogy for ISI.
Sorry, guys, but you were caught with your pants down. The Saudis needed a relatively pro-Bin Laden area to keep him on ice so that Al Qaeda wouldn't come back to haunt the "internal enemy," aka the House of Saud. Who and where better than the ISI and Pak Armed Forces and Abbottabad? Let's face it, a fly doesn't fart in Abbottabad without the ISI not knowing about it within 10 seconds. No one believes that one can build a walled compound there and have it occupied by a mysterious old bearded Arab that needs frequent doctor visits, a few younger Arab men, some wives and some kids and the ISI isn't going to know about it. In fact, the ISI probably built the thing in the first place to Saudi specs. Of course, the movie that Hollywood is making on the Bin Laden takedown, scheduled for release in October 2012, probably isn't going to have anyone pointing out that little "inconvenient truth." I'm betting on Will Smith to play the brave commander in chief who led the op. Any takers?

[Shahzad Malik]

pakistan Army has been plagued by rogue elements who operate under American patronage. US has been pampering and promoting the corrupt and dirty generals over the years and has thwarted any move towards a transition to genuine democracy.

[Retired]

There you go, folks! The Pakistani military would be pure as the driven snow except for the corrupting influence of America. They're not at fault, it's evil America.
Oh, and by the way, while we're at it, it's the Republicans who are responsible for all of America's current economic woes, not the Democrats and certainly not the pure Barack Obama.

Give me a break. Nobody's buying it anymore.

[Bilal Aziz]

Well Staged (by US) and well acted (by Pak).

Moral: Game Over

[tuuyrts]

No, I don't think so. While there is a possibility that the Americans may have given some sort of warning to the Pakistanis, on groud Pakistani cooperation can be discounted.

If the Pakistanis were cooperating, why send in helicopters, when you could have driven up in Hummers, with no one being wiser.

Further more, Abbottabad is a hill station frequented by many visitors especially during summer months. It does have a premier Pakistani Military Academy there, but it is a training school, not a secretive military installation, like a nuclear missile site or a critical Air force base . So where is the reason to have this place swaming with intelligence agents. Do all the towns that host military training schools have spies in every nook and corner. Likely not.

Security is high in such towns, no doubt, but they are not hot beds of intelligence agents.

By the way, ISI is for external intelligence and not internal ones.